One of the most helpful strategies I've learned for managing my energy is not to waste one speck of it worrying about what I should have done or didn't do or could have done differently, except to see whether there are lessons to take away that will help me be more effective going forward.
I have freed up lots of energy taking this approach. Rather than get down on myself, I stay curious and reflect about what didn't work and focus on staying in action with what does work. Focusing on the past can be an insidious drain.
One of my clients was recently very much stuck in a downward spiral of lethargy after losing her job. She spent a lot of time focusing on what she could have done differently and developed some fear around what might happen in the future. Having been in this position before myself, I shared my formula for successfully extracting myself from this life-sucking emotional state.
- Decide - I make the decision that I do not want to be in this position another minute.
- Exert Control - I choose something, even the smallest thing, over which I have control - For example, I make up my bed (this was my strategy as a resident when at times I felt like my whole life was under someone else's control!)
- Make a commitment to myself that I KNOW I will keep and KEEP it! - This could be as small as I will eat lunch at noon or I will balance my check book or I will make a call I have been putting off. The act of making and keeping commitments to myself builds self-esteem.
- Celebrate even the smallest success.
- I remember to have compassion with myself.
Once I begin taking these steps, I build momentum. Having a support person or a group of people to whom I am accountable is also a big help.
I just found your blog and I am so glad I did. I think I am going to be checking back here as often as I can to read your insightful posts. In some small way I think I will be using your site as part of my personal support system.
Posted by: Crystalrose | February 25, 2005 at 09:58 AM